do you trust me???

I had a mommy meltodwn today and learned a lesson through it. I actually could see the lesson God was trying to teach me while in it, although it was painful.

 I am in Tennessee with the boys visiting the youth group (& JD) who are at a conference for the week. Well today we went hiking. While on the moderate to difficult trail with the youth and my kiddos, Cade, my 3 year old took a liking to A. a graduated senior. A. is a great kid and I had NO problem of Cade being with him. For most of the trail, Cade was on A.’s shoulders or being carried by him. A few others and myself fell back on the trail, and eventually caught up to my husband with Benjamin our other little boy. We went one way, the trail went another, and before we knew it we were really out of sight from Cade and the rest of the youth. Well the trail we ended up on for the moment was very strenous and I broke down. Anxiety hitting that I wasn’t in view of my precious child. Anxiety that I had no idea which way to go and which way they went. Anxiety that I couldn’t do the trail. Anxiety that my child was with a bunch of high school students and no parent. And just all out fear that something was going to happen to my child if it hadn’t already. I freaked. The entire time, I heard God saying, “My child, do you trust me? Do you trust me with one of the things MOST important to you? If so, show it.” I prayed and walked. And prayed and walked. Eventually we caught up to them at the end of the trail, a beautiful waterfall and Cade was SO proud of himself for “finding it.” I just hugged him. Man those tests are HARD when your children are involved. I am sure it is one of many though that I will go through (and fail) in life.

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being called

“Sometimes it helps to remember God doesn’t call the ‘qualified’ He qualifies the Called.”

 Wow! This thought applies to parenting, to ministry, to all of it! We don’t have to have it all together before we try to do it. Often we fall into the misconception that we are called because we’re good at something. But God gives us everything we need. Look at Moses as a classic example of this. He felt he was so inadequate to lead God’s people to the Promised Land. God’s words were “I am”. God would provide for Moses. He would give him the qualifications he needs.

 Being in our comfort zone, isn’t relying on God. Where’s the faith? We need to be uncomfortable in where we’re at and with what we’re doing. In psychology and education Vygotsky called this the “zone of proximinal development.” This place was between where a learner could accomplish things and where things were frustrating for them – out of their comfort zone. In this place was where the most learning and growth could happen. The same with us and faith. Where we are waiting for God to qualify us, that is where faith takes over. That is where we will achieve th most growth, professionally and spiritually.

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complacency

I’ve been thinking a lot about complacency lately. It’s easy to become complacent with your marriage, relationships, your job, chores, etc. I am starting to think it stems from a few things: (1) laziness – you know what you need to do, but choose not to, (2) boredom – you need something new, new life, a change, (3) forgetting to rely on the Spirit and the working of God – trying to do it all on our own.

How can we be seeking whaat God has in store for us and become complacent in that area? God is not about boredom or “same-old.” To me, Scripture reveals a God who is full of change, adventure, challenge, dreams to make us rely on HIM. If we are becoming complacent at what we’re doing, we’re dreaming too small. We’re leaving God out of the equation.

At various times in my life, I’ve become complacent in various area, like those mentioned above. We have to be careful to not fall into this trap. I think the enemy uses it to capture our best from us. It holds us back. It can also be like a disease, that unless treated, eats us and paralyzes our potential.

 Whether in your marriage, parenting, your ministry, your prayer life, or maybe just housekeeping – if complacency is keeping you from where you need to be — get up. Challenge God. Challenge yourself. Change things. Don’t let your potential for greatness be robbed.

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great quote…

“It is my personal approach that creates the climate. It is my daily mood that makes the weather…I possess a tremendous power to make a child’s life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration. I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis will be escalated or de-escalated and a child humanized or dehumanized.”
-Haim Ginott

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goals for strengthening families

I was recently on NAEYC’s (National Association for the Education of Young Children) webpage. One of their main initiatives is Project Home. Project Home is an attempt to strengthen families to prevent abuse and neglect and to promote children’s healthy social and emotional development. They have developed a program called Supporting Teachers, Strengthening Families (STSF) which is a set of strategies to reinforce Project Home. The following are some initiatives of STSF:

• Leadership development to help bring NAEYC’s family strengthening work to scale and sustain these efforts over time. Two cohorts of early childhood professionals—in 2005 and 2006—participated in the Supporting Teachers, Strengthening Families National Leadership Program, an intensive, year-long leadership development opportunity.     
• Developing and disseminating resources to help early childhood professionals implement family strengthening strategies.   NAEYC also communicates about strengthening families through conference sessions, Young Children articles, this Web site, and more. 
• Partnerships with other national organizations doing similar work.  These complementary partnerships enhance our collective efforts.   
• An evaluation of NAEYC’s efforts to determine successes and lessons learned.  
• Research to help inform these efforts and provide the foundation for policy and practice enhancements.  

If we took this information as churches and started implementing similar initiatives in regard to supporting families in their child’s spritual development, think of all we potentially could achieve. My list would look like the following:

Leadership development to fathers on being the primary spiritual pioneer in their family.

Developing and disseminating resources to help families and those impacting families through teaching to implement spirtual strengthening strategies.   The church would also communicate about strengthening families through conference sessions, journal articles, the church Web site, and more. 

Partnerships with other national organizations doing similar work.  These complementary partnerships enhance our collective efforts.   

An evaluation of the church’s efforts to determine successes and lessons learned.  

Research to help inform these efforts and provide the foundation for policy and practice enhancements.  

WOW! Family ministry is something I think more churches will take on in the future. There don’t seem to be many resources written on the hows and whys of doing it. To many children’s ministry leaders is seems intimidating in some aspects – “hey, I’m comfortable working with the children, not adults!” But it is crucial in churches to form these partnerships as the parents need to be primarily responsible for their child’s spiritual direction and development.  

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children who act bad…

I have a parenting and ministry philosophy when dealing with children, and it works for adults as well…

“Children who feel bad, act bad.”

Part of this is understanding and dealing with the root cause of the misbehavior. With children you can assess using H-A-L-T.

H – Hungry

A – Angry

L – Lonely

T – Tired

By assessing these needs and addressing them, behavior can usually turn around. Think about adults as well – don’t we react negatively (act bad) when we feel bad? Maybe someone hurt us? Things aren’t going our way? We’re under pressure?

 Try looking at undesirable behavior as someone who feels bad. It will totally change your perspective on the children and adults you encounter – whether in parenting or in ministry.

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what have I done?

A friend of ours is going through a really tough time and we volunteered to watch their kids tomorrow while the husband is at a wedding. So for most of the day – we’ll have a 1 1/2 year old, 2 year old, 3 year old, and 3 1/2 year old in the house. Oh my goodness…

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book review: Revolutionary Parenting

I received “Revolutionary Parenting” by George Barna in the mail on Monday. I’ve read through about half of it. It’s a pretty good book. I really enjoy statistical data and we all know that is what Barna is good at. I am looking at it through the lens of a mother and as a children’s minister. Here’s some points that have received the attention of my highlighter:

 *Although there are a plethora of parenting books on the market, few recognize that children are a gift from God and that raising children is a responsibility assigned to parents by God.

*He defines “spiritual champions” – children who have embraced Jesus Christ as their Savior and Lord; accept the Bible as truth and as the guide for life; and seek to live in obedience to its principles and in search of ways to continually deepen their relationship with God. He goes on to say that spiritual champions lead a revolutionary existence – uncommon life perspectives, unique relationships, and stunning faith in God.

*Churches alone do not and cannot have much influence on children – the greatest influence is seen by impacting the parents of children

* As parents we use a worldly measure to determine the condition of our children – provided with basic needs, healthy, not involved in risky behaviors, involved in church, etc. – although these are positive things to measure for condition and are good and all — we are measuring their well-being with the wrong standard. Barna says, “Without realizing it, we have made ourselves the judge and jury of what is right and wrong, good and bad, useful and useless in relation to our children’s lives.” We need to use the word of God as our judgement of how well we are parenting and the condition of our children.

* Barna offers some very sobering statistics: (ages 8-12) 36% fully believe the Bible as accurate in all the principles — 19% think they have a responsibility to share Jesus with their peers — 46% state religious faith is important in their lives — 36% think Jesus may have sinned while on Earth — only 58% believe God is all-knowing, all powerful, Creator — only 6:10 believe God is the Creator — less than 1:5 parents think they are doing a good job of raising their children morally and spiritually — WOW!!!!!

*As much as you love your children, God loves them more. As deeply as you desire to do what is best for your children, God wants it even more urgently.

*God needs to be the mastermind behind our parenting. We to take a coaches model for parenting — (1) have a plan, (2) know your desired outcomes, (3) live it yourself, (4) great communication, (5) live “in the moment”, (6) your impact on your children’s lives is proportional to the depth of relationship you have with them

* Research showed that parents are more likely to raise spiritual champions if they accept that from day one their parenting efforts will stray from the norm and will put them at odds with parents who are pursuing a more conventional approach.

* Families of spiritual champions delve into faith issues as a family – bible reading, character training, prayer (excluding meal times), worship — integration of faith into daily living *** Statistic: fewer than 1:10 Christian families read the Bible together in a typical week or pray together as a family outside of meal times!!!

*Teach your children: who you are matters a lot more than what you accomplish

There are some of my favorite thoughts from the first half of the book. It seems to be a follow-up to “Transforming Children into Spiritual Champions” in the way that that book recognized and researched that churches cannot raise spiritual children alone, the responsibility rests with the parents. This book provides the how to that.

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make every moment count

As I watch my children get bigger and older each day, I am reminded of how precious time really is. My baby, Cade, turned 3 today. And I am wondering where did time go??? Since the day of his birth, it seems like time has flown by at record speed.

We have numbered days here on earth. We should maximize the time we have in each one. Whether it is as a parent needing to fully appreciate the time with our children, realizing that they grow up so quickly (although in the throes of it – doesn’t always seem so….), or as a Christian, realizing that we need to make the most of every opportunity we are given. Time is precious.

Will Rogers said, “Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.” What do you need to slow down for and make the moments count?

Happy Birthday my baby!

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beware…lots of fluff…

Yeah…suffer through it!

A rare picture of the two together!

Riding a bike like grandpa!

Cade — almost 3!

Yummy yogurt! Benjamin is NOT afraid of mess!

On vacation in Myrtle Beach

Benjamin and Daddy

Cade at EdVenture – children’s museum

GoofBall!

Like Papa…

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