I’ll admit that something I struggle with is pride. So often I’ll go through the day, crossing things off my mental to-do list, patting myself on the back for making it through certain situations or accomplishing things, that I forget to really give credit where credit is due. Without Him, my Savior, I am nothing. I can do nothing. I would be nothing. I tend to get caught up in the day to day living that I so often make it through the day and try to remember if I even prayed before I ate lunch. I’ll get greedy over “my time” and not spend time reading my Bible or talking to God, the creator of time. I forget that He’s the one who makes the minutes happen and gives me another hour to live. Something great will happen in my ministry – a child who “got it” or good attendance at an event and quickly I will think that “I did good or worked hard for it.” I forget that God gives me ths talents and resources to do what I can accomplish. He moves in the hearts of individuals. I am nothing without Him. My prayer is “God make me less and help me to see You more.” I want to daily know that I am nothing without the grace and life of my Savior.
Archive for June, 2008
I love the picture spiritually of thirsting. I don’t know why, but it is something I can totally relate to. I go through seasons where I am content with being complacent. But then other seasons, like the one I’m entering into righ tnow in my life, I can feel myself thirsting for God. A true yearning to know Him intimately, to need Him, to run to Him. I think the heavier the complacent patch we go through, the further we travel from Him, the more apparent the thirst is.
Unfortunately, one thing I have to work on is when I thirst for God, I scan my bookshelves looking for just the right book to inspire me. A book written by a great author to teach and convict me. Why don’t I just pick up my BIble instead and read from THE Author? In thr thirst, the Word of God is the quenching water. It nourishes, soothes, and saturates our soul.
It’s been kind of a rough ministry patch the past month or so. I’ve been totally swamped busy, but today I was realizing that even more so than busy with a to-do list a mile long, I’ve been heavy with the hurts of those close to me.
Within the past month we’ve had a wonderful ministry friends suffer a miscarriage, a dear friend lose his youth ministry job, and close ministry friends deliver a baby 7 weeks prematurely that has been in ICU for a week (so far). Today I was actually questioning God, seeing that all these friends are in ministry, as to why it was happening.
I am a great believer that when adversity strikes, it usually means that God is gearing up to do something BIG and Satan is trying to attack. I have felt it in my own life, I have seen it in the lives of others. But this type of pain I’m seeing is a movement of God, trying to show something, grow us, teach us, mold us, and to bring us to Him through it. It could be Satan attacking too – trying to test the resolve, the steadfastness.
Whatever the reason for the suffering in the lives of these closest to us, it has made for a few rough ministry weeks. Ever just feel so heavy and burdened for those you love? I do. But its a feeling I don’t want to lose either – compassion, love, concern. I want my heart broken with the things that break God’s and I know that these things do.
I don’t even know the point of this post! But just felt the rambling thoughts…